love in any language

At Bethany's suggestion, I've been (for free) reading about the Five Love Languages. I spend a lot of time trying to understand myself, and this is one part of myself that I haven't had much time to get to know. Everyone is likely a candidate for all love languages, and I'm no different. I see all of these in me. The languages are:

Words of Affirmation

Words carry a lot of power. And I am a Davis. Davises historically need to hear that they are doing well. We take negative things personally. We soak up positive words like sponges. Hearing that I am loved is warming. Hearing that someone appreciates me fills my heart. If I never heard these encouraging, loving words, I'd probably wonder if I really was loved.

Quality Time

If you were to ask me to respond in five seconds which love language I speak, I would respond with Quality Time. I thrive on phone conversations, walks around the lake, and 7th inning stretch Q&A sessions. I feel stressed when there isn't enough time in the day to fit in the communication, whether in person or on the phone, that I need to learn, understand, and grow in love.

Receiving Gifts

I am not good at giving or receiving gifts. I have also never been showered in flowers and candy, but this love language goes deeper. Buying Twins tickets or dinner, giving of yourself, and the occasional framed picture of us means a lot to me. It's easy to say how much you love each other, but it's harder to show it. Gifts, both physical and personal, give me a lot of comfort about love. If we're willing to go that extra mile, it must mean something important. But this could easily be a standard set by society that I've fallen for as opposed to a deep need within me. In any case, I appreciate gift-getting (and giving, too).

Acts of Service

While this isn't my primary language, I see this one, too. Bachelor pads can be scary places! A little vacuuming, bathroom cleaning, bed making, dishes doing, and bed making can go a REALLY long way. This is another way that I can see love, and I appreciate the dedication. But if you asked me whether a clean bathroom would make or break my relationship with someone, I'd say probably not.

Physical Touch

This is important in every relationship. There are days when I want to be enveloped by someone's arms. There are moments when I need my own physical space. In any case, the moments when fingertips and foreheads can communicate a million thoughts are the moments when you truly know that love is there.

I guess you're not really supposed to pick "one" love language that is yours. All of these are in all of us. It's a matter of taking the intentional time to learn what's important about these to your partner. We are all capable of touching, serving, giving, sharing time, and encouraging. You must, however, be willing to give of yourself the things your partner needs. Maybe you hate cleaning, but what matters most to your partner is having a clean house. Can you make this sacrifice for your love? Maybe, maybe not. My grandma always tells me that love and marriage aren't easy. And there are going to be some days when you'll hate each other. But both parties need to make it their responsibility to know the way to bring love back to the center.